How to Write an Essay

I just thought that now would be a good time to share some of my knowledge on how to write essays.
-So first off, you should probably wait until the night before to write them.
-Then you need to get all situated in where ever you think would be a great place to write. I chose my bed because there’s definitely no chance that I will give up and decide to go to sleep.
-Now, get your computer out and open it up. It takes all of three seconds for it to be ready to go, so just type your password in and go on your phone in the meantime.
-While on your phone, you should probably check out all of your social media. Obvs.
-Oh crap! my computer screen went blank. Better go and retype in your password and be productive.
-Open up Microsoft Word.
**Now we’re getting somewhere**
-Alright got the document open and everything.
-Ask roommates what to write about. While this happens, you see you have a snapchat.
-Well dang! better have a conversation with a friend you haven’t seen in a while.
-And now that you are on snapchat, bring out the filters and take snaps with your picture of Ed Sheeran on the wall.
-Alright stop dickin around now. Choose the question you are going to answer.
-Think about how you are going to answer the question.
-Type three words.
**Holy hell this is just taking forever**
**Tell yourself how funny you think you are and how ridiculous you are at this moment**
**Think about how maybe you should tell others about it because they definitely want to know.**
**Figure out which social media outlet to share it on**
**Way too much time later.** There is this post.
I’m going to write my essays now.
Maybe. I’m not really sure.

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