I am a Graphic Design Student

Today I feel discouraged. I am in college and this semester seems to just be dragging me down. Really, I don’t feel like I have gotten much out of it.

I’m sad because I don’t feel like I spend much time thinking about projects, but I think I am a person that needs to be in the right atmosphere for creativity. The sphere I am in this semester I don’t think allows for that.

I think the times that I am most productive are during the day, meaning 9-5. What seems to be hard for me is that all my classes are in between those times and then when 5 o’clock rolls around, I am less motivated to do work.

The problem with classes is that there is so much wasted time. Classes are so constricting. You have all this work time but what am I supposed to get done in the four walls of that cement building.

What I really wish was that we could be briefed on what the instructor wants to tell us, and then when it is break time to work, I want to be able to do what ever I need to do to be as productive as I can. This for me usually means working on the next thing I have to get done, over doing what I am supposed to do for that class. I just wish I was free to do that without the fear of being scolded to do work for that class, or have an absence.

We all work in different ways, and the way the school would have me work is just not how I work best.

This leads me to being very sad about school all the time. It makes me feel like I am an awful person that can’t prioritize or get anything done.

But I don’t think that is true. I can be very productive, and I am a good worker. This atmosphere is just not the one for me. I can’t wait to be in the work place, where my work is during the day and in one place.

I am hoping next semester I will find some inspiration leading out of my last semester of school. The schedule I have set up is like no other that I have had before. There is time that is allotted through out my everyday to work on school stuff because I have me classes scheduled in the morning and the evening. Thus leaving all the time in between to get work done.

Wish me luck.


London Thoughts

Currently at work. Listening to Alicia Keys.

I have completed my projects for the summer by probably 85-90%. There's only 20 minutes left, and I am as they say here blocked. As in I don't know how much more I can do until I have some feedback, critique, and editing on my digital piece.

So for the last 20 minutes I guess I am just reflecting on my experience here in London. I can't believe I am further than the half way point, I can't believe that I have only two more weekends over here and I'm not even spending them in London because we're going to Germany and then Spain after that. I can't see going out any other way.

This trip has been a roller coaster. Like literally at one point we were riding roller coasters. I did not think it was possible to do so much in one summer. It is the most crazy fast paced life ever. It's a bit exhausting but it is so amazing. When I get back it's going to just be a magical dream in my memory. ~ You think that it was an adjustment coming here? No. I think the real adjustment is going to be going back.

There are so many crazy things this life has to offer, and this trip has kind of taught me that you just got to go for them. It may be scary to take that leap of faith, but it is so necessary for you to grow. And I don't think anyone wants to get to the end of their life and feel like they just allowed themselves to get stuck in a rut.

You have one life to live. Write your own story. And few more cliches, but for real.

from london

Trip Before the Trip

So it’s one week before going across the pond, and I’m just chilling outside my grandma’s house (because she’s not home yet, but all is fine when I can access the wifi from out side). hashtag insert laugh. It is going to be a girls trip to a family reunion in Missouri. A mini vaykay before the real thing; not saying that the trip to London is this crazy vacation because Monday-Friday I will either have class or be working.

But Hell! Who can complain when they’ll be living in one of the coolest places ever all summer?!

Tomorrow I’ll be waking up at the crack of dawn and sitting for a 9 hour ride; so I’d say thats some good preparation for the jet-lag and 10 hour flight I am going to have to conquer next week.

As the Brits might or might not say, Cheerio!

It’s almost over

I really need to get out of here because having no schedule and not even getting to see your dad when you get home is AW. FUL.
I have been watching Gilmore Girls since like 4 and it’s currently 8:30. Like really. What am I supposed to do in the time frame from 9-12 when I’m supposed to watch Gilmore Girls before bed?? Because guys let me tell you, after five hours of watching Netflix, one starts to feel a bit lazy. Weird eh?

Melancholy is the word of the day.

This is what life’s about

Today was a day full of “what really matters” themes. If you read my previous post, there was just a lot of frustration the morning brought. By the end of the day I was just hungry and exhausted. (And let me tell ya I didn’t choose the best dinner later either).

There are just a few days left and then school is just going to be over, so today when I got home I really just wanted to relax. The entire day was making me feel as though I needed meditation in my life, but my mind is just going a billion miles a minute so meditation is not quite very efficient.

Okay so HERE is where the magic starts.

To relax I go for a walk because let me tell you that after day after day of just being inside buildings all the time, a walk is much needed. My mind starts to go blank and I just take in all the beautiful nature and trees and pretty homes. There air smells fresh; I can smell the wood and the grass and the florals and leaves. My senses are beyond thrilled. And then I get downtown and I get to the river and it’s just breath taking. It’s calming, and peaceful, and beautiful. I just take it in as the sun sets on the water.

I go to walk home and as I’m coming back from downtown, there is this little Mamma duck followed by her 13 babies just walking in the road. A woman gets out of her car, and I watch her usher the ducks to the corner. So I’m thinking ok the ducks are safe now, but they


These are the ducks on the way to the river.

have a bunch of streets to cross to get back to the river! So here I am just wondering if I should follow the ducks or not, but the thought of how busy one the roads were goes through my mind. So yes, I followed them. I kept my distance, but was sure to be close enough so that people could see me walking and would steer clear.

Aw it took maybe a half an hour for them to get to the river with all the baby ducks just waddling their little tails. I even tried to help a little guy get up on the side walk by putting my shoe in front of him for a stepping stool. But the little bugger had it. Aw it was so special, and watching the Mamma duck wait for the babies when they couldn’t get on the side walk was just heart-warming. Ugh it was wonderful.

College is Not Everything

Let me start off by saying that college is not going to be my peak in life, and that’s okay. We live in a society where there is so much emphasis on furthering your education. It is this thing that is super important and society says you MUST do this or you are going to be a bum for life. And yet they charge you an arm and a leg for it.

So here we are broke as hell working towards a degree we might not even know that is the direction in life we need to be going. This is apparently the most important thing. These four years, the college makes you feel like this is going to determine your life. That if you don’t make this your job right now, and care about every single thing you do, that you are going to go nowhere in life.

Also, in case you were wondering, I am an Art Major. And if you were in this major you would know that “it’s not about the grade” which is why we literally don’t know what our grades are until the end of the semester.

I just cannot stand that these people think this is all our life is going to be. Like there are more important things in life than your career. Personally, I don’t think that my career is going to be by far the most important thing in my life at all. There are so many more important things.

Like Jesus. I consider myself a Nondenominational Christian. So for myself, college is not the biggest picture in life by a long shot. These years will not be what wreaks havoc on my soul. I have faith that God is going to take care of me. If that means falling on my face, then that will be a lesson in life that I need to learn.

If you’re reading this, thank you for your time.


Getting up may be the hardest part of the morning. I don’t want to leave the warmth of my bed.

Getting up may be the hardest part of the afternoon. I don’t want to get up off my chair and deal with the overwhelming aspects my life has at the ready for me.

But then I put some clothes on and brush my teeth, and make a snack to get to work with. It may take an hour and a half to get started but at least it’s something.

Getting started working takes a while because I still feel the overwhelming blanket on top of me. So I don’t actually start being productive for 45 minutes or so. I doodle on my hand just to get my mind moving without actually trying.

Little by little I am getting work done, and slow and steady I move, slowly the overwhelming blanket is getting lighter. So at least that’s something.